I had a break-through today...I realized again, yet another thing that the Lord is asking me to lay down. Approval. I'm a approval-holic....there I've said it. The news that I have this issue is not new but I realized (through the wisdom of my hubby) that I seek approval for the sake of pleasure.
I want the pleasure of approval so I seek to please. Here's the thing, it's never enough. First of all ,the seeking of the approval of others is never enough to make everyone happy and the pleasure of the pay off (of making some of them happy) is never enough- is doesn't satisfy me, I'm dissatisfied with the pay-off. Am I making any sense?
I've been in this cycle...pleasing, approval seeking, dissatisfaction, pleasing, dissatisfaction, approval seeking and so on. Here's the thing...I'm not doing anything wrong, per sea...BUT my focus is all wrong. This is where I'm looking: Approval- others. Pleasure- me.
Approval- Others. I fall into that trap so easily...others can not give me what I am looking for, only He can. Some rulers in Jesus' time struggled with the same thing: John 12:42,43 says," Nevertheless many even of the rulers believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they were not confessing Him, for fear that they would be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the approval of men rather than the approval of God."
What were these leaders looking for? Their own pleasure...their standing and the Pharisees could not give them what they were truly look for, approval. The rulers focus was all wrong, just like me.
Pleasure- me. So what is the answers to my approval-holic situation? Answering the question...where is my pleasure found? What pleases me? Is is all about me? This is where the trap lies...and the Truth. Is God's Word true? Do I really believe it? Can my greatest pleasure and need be met in Christ? I want to yell YES, at the top of my lungs but what does my daily life really look like (on the inside, where only me and the Lord see?) Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."
Do I really believe He'll give me Himself and that will be enough? That I will be satisfied? That in Him I will find the True Source of pleasure I seek.... Him-approval-pleasure-satisfaction. Where are my eyes, this moment?
5 comments:
This blog entry pleases me greatly. It's a pleasure to see you see your pleasure coming from the wrong things so that you're displeased and seeing the good pleasure found in the One who truly pleases, alone.
I love you honey, and it's a great pleasure to have you as my wife.
That comment from your husband is oh-so-sweet! Isn't it wonderful to have a good man supporting you?
I'm speaking on this very topic at my church's women's retreat this week! I've found, too, that my people-pleasing isn't just about pleasing people. For me, it's been about my need to feel validated, meaningful, purposeful, significant. But, you're right, it's never enough - our significance comes from being known and loved by Christ.
BUT - it's a touch road-a-hoe, isn't it?!
Thanks for dropping by my little corner of cyberspace!
so little time so many people to please:)!!! But only one that matters. Isn't God good. He keeps working even when we get off track.
Love your blogs
keep it coming
shelly
Mandi,
I am entrenched in this right now. Please pray for me to get it right. I desperately need to be only concerned with pleasing God. It is so hard sometimes. Too many expectations. I am involved in a couple of things (good things) that I don't want to be. Do I not want to be because I'm selfish, or am I really not called by God to be there? Oh, I'm confused! Thanks for your perspective. I am enjoying and learning from your blog. Thanks. Tricia
Praying for you right now Tricia, know what you mean, it really is hard,thanks for coming out here! ...seeking HIM with you.
love
mandi
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