My Ring…

We celebrated our twentieth Anniversary yesterday. Let’s go back; August 25th 1990 I received my wedding ring. It was a simple, etched gold band that my engagement ring rested against- simple, sweet and beautiful. John was new in youth ministry and didn’t have much money, so the rings were also thin. Very thin. Within the first year of marriage, I got the idea of having the two bands soldered together and having 2 small diamonds placed on each side of my engagement ring, making it one ring, and my sweet husband graciously accommodated me. SO, for 20 years…I have lived with a lovely and very delicate ring.

I approached marriage quite the same way. I was simple, delicate and weak yet filled with lots of expectations. Like my idea within the first year about the ring, I had A LOT more ideas of what needed to change and be modified in our marriage and specifically John within that first year as well. You could guess, that took its toll.

Here’s the problem…evidently I am rough on rings. Over the course of the last 20 years I have had to have the ring “fixed” twice….on the underside of the ring-time, wear, pressure and years of just wearing it had worn it down to a bear thread…the metal simply wore away and was ready to break, two separate times. The last time I was at the jewelers he told me, “I’m so sorry ma’am but I won’t be able to do this again. Next time you will have to have the whole ring re-set. This band is simply not strong enough.”

You have no idea how much this parallels parts of our 20 year marriage. There have been several times where we have been worn through to a thread, with the threat of our marriage breaking apart. As with my ring, life happens. Time, circumstances, pressure and sin wear us down and wear a marriage down. There was a time when, like the jeweler, I said to myself, “One more time…and I’m done. I can’t fix this. I’m simply not strong enough.” Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been all bad at all, but we have seen several very ugly times in our 20 years.

Joel is a great little book…this prophet to the northern kingdom of Israel was given a message. Trouble was coming and part of that trouble was going to be locust- locust that stripped EVERYTHING bear. 15 years ago, that was my life and our marriage- stripped bare, useless, held together by a thread. Later on in the book of Joel however, there is a promise given…it won’t be realized until the coming of the Messiah and the establishment of the New Covenant but it is still a promise in the midst of coming devastation; Joel 2:25, “I will restore to you the years that the locust have eaten…”

I have to testify that this is what the Lord IS doing in our marriage. We still fight sometimes, I can be the biggest jerk ever and John can be a real treat himself BUT the Lord has redeemed each of us personally and done major amounts of healing in a marriage I wouldn’t have given you $5 for 15 years ago. He is restoring to us the years that the locust have eaten…what was a barren land is now becoming useful, by His Grace and through His enduring love and patience towards us. Christ became the foundation of our marriage in more than word but in reality. He became the foundation to each of us individually. He is the One who is secure.

John gave me my new re-set ring yesterday. My delicate broken ring was stretched out over a thick gold band…soldered together, the two becoming one. The jeweler told him, “Nothing is going to break them apart. You could throw it against the wall all day and it won’t break. You want to try?!” Ummm….no. That wouldn’t be wise.

The simple truth is; there are times still coming when we might feel like we have been hurled against the wall, again. We don’t want to add to the complication of life but life will continue to happen for the next 20 years…each of us will still be living with a sinner in a fallen world but we have been set together, like a solder, by the One who will never change. As we grow closer to Him and then to each other…He literally restores the years the locust have eaten and makes the years to come fruitful and useful for His Kingdom purposes- solid and secure. Thank you Lord for setting us together 20 years ago, You are the Cord that cannot be broken- may we continue to trust and cling to You!