Outbursts of Anger = unyielded "rights" . I learned this equation in a class a long time ago, and it has stuck with me. Although, for obvious reason, not totally changed me....as you will soon see. Think about it, if there is a personal "right" or a perceived "right" and someone or something violates that "right", we get angry. If you think about it backwards...when you are angry there is always a "right" or perceived "right" that has been violated. Everytime.
Think about the last time you got angry. Think to the root of it. How often does the phrase (or something similar) " How dare you!" "Who do you think you are?" "You have no right to treat me that way!" or "I will not be...." come to mind? Some "right" is on the verge or has been violated and our defenses kick in saying; HOLD ON TO YOUR RIGHTS! For crying out loud, if you don't who will?! Now for some of us more, shall we say....more overt people, this looks like outward anger but even you passive ones...it can be very internal.
I saw red today and my anger exploded...again. The first thing I thought was, "How dare they!!!!!!!!! Who do they think they are? Do they not realize I am NOT their maid? This is so disrespectful and it is wrong!" Immediately followed an angry tirade against clean clothes in the laundry. Here is the kicker. I was right-100% correct in my assessment on all counts BUT I was 100% wrong in HOW I handled it. UGG.
Hang with me, this is the highly important part...my "rights" became the issue, instead of the issue being the issue. If I want to be a good mom who trains her evidently untrained children....it can't be all about me! I justified my anger, but in doing so...I lost the immediate opportunity to correctly address the issue. Now I'm just angry psycho mom AND I owe them an apology without my justification!
Now, think about it practically, was my moment of holding onto my "right" (the "right" to not be disrespected and treated as a maid) worth the missed opportunity to train them? At the moment in my justified feeling, it was true....it felt worth it. In hinds sight though, it was not at all. I have to ask myself; What do I value more? My rights or their training? My rights or Christ's way? My rights and pride or love for what He loves? Oh, He loves Truth but not at that cost. The Truth in that moment, ceased to be Truth when clouded by my unyielded rights cloaked in anger.
It's worth thinking about...considering...meditating and praying over. Take a look at Philippians 2:1-11. How many "rights" did Jesus yield? All of them. He never compromised on Truth but He always yielded His rights.
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