Carrying the Weight of the Groceries…and the World.

Went to the grocery store last week, it was just an average trip but boy, was it cold! With that in mind, I decided that I needed to make as few trips as possible into the house. SO I decided to make one trip…I piled and spaced the plastic bags up my arms and on each finger. I was determined. Finally, I looped my small suitcase sized purse (in other words, my very large purse) over my last finger and headed to the door.

The first problem was to get the sliding door of the van closed…with much shoving, pushing and “foot tactics” I was able to get the door shut. Up the steps and to the door- literally arms extended, every muscle and finger strained and feeling like I was dying, I tottered. Really, this is not JUST a case of being out of shape; it was just a really bad plan- way too much stuff! No joke, my fingers were pinched and hurt for an hour!

Needless to say, I looked burdened and heavy-laden, which I was. Frankly, I looked like an over zealous idiot! It wasn’t until I realized that I didn’t have a plan to get the house door open that it hit me. This is what my life feels like, more often than I care to admit. It can feel like I’m carrying everything, in one trip. I can be heavy with life, with worry, with stress, with the lack of control- heavy with everything, even good things! Are you hearing me? It hit me, as I had to PUT DOWN all the groceries…

Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy- laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

What a lesson to learn and re-learn. How’s it going carrying the weigh of the world and all the groceries? It’s not a great plan. Lay down your burdens; exchange them for His light load. He already carried it all.

Eating Peanut Butter on a Rice Cake, in the Car, on a Snowy Day...

Eating peanut butter on a rice cake, in the car, on a snowy day...that is how my morning started. I was on my way to teach class this morning and I usually eat my breakfast in the car (yes, I am always late and multitasking). This morning was no exception. Except, I choose a rice cake and it was a very snowy day. Driving slowly and carefully and eating my peanut butter rice cake. Not a good scenario. Why you might ask? Well, rice cakes are... how shall we say...rather crumbly. And as I'm driving and eating my rice cake, crumblies (is that a word?) are falling all around. I was rather distracted by this...I hope you seeing my dilemma, on a snowy day.

Silly? Yes, I know. But I do have a point, really. I had to literally tell my self, "Let the crumblies go!" (I spoke to myself in my head...I'm not totally crazy!) I can deal with the mess later, when I'm safe and not driving on a snowy day. So I did just that and made it to Bible Study just fine and on time. Whew. The crumblies got taken care of and all was well.

Does life ever throw you a few "crumblies"? At a particularly difficult time or place...or "inclement weather" season of life? Can you relate to being totally sidetracked with cleaning up the "crumblies"...in turn, putting real serious issues at risk? Do you need to hear the words;"Let it go". There are so many things in my everyday life that I really need to treat as a "crumblie". I need to let them go...they will be there later. So few things really last and so much is at stake.

When God says "No"...

Has God said "No" to you on any particular issue lately? I have recently had a confirmed "No" from the Lord and honestly, I'm learning to be grateful. I thought I would be devastated but I wasn't. I'm learning that "No"s are not all bad...yes, it has taken me 40 years to discover that! That doesn't mean we always like it or enjoy the "No" but we can trust God and then, even in the "No"...

Psalm 37:3-5, "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He will do it."

Trust, Do, Dwell, Cultivate, Delight, Commit, and more Trust...all verbs. All surrounding "getting" the desires of our heart. How does a "No" from the Lord work into this? Well, when I receive a "No", I'm tempted to drop in a heap and stop...Trusting, Doing, Dwelling, Cultivating, Committing and so on. My tendenacy is lack of faith in the midst of a "No".

He is good and He is God and He is actively and accurately designing a change in our desires. He is enough. Am I desiring Him, even in the "No"? Am I dropping in a spiritual heap to throw a spiritual fit? Sometimes. Today, though, I'll choose to thank Him for the "No" and continue to Trust, Do, Dwell, Cultivate, Delight and then Trust some more...

A New Year...

Can you believe it? 2009, another New Year. Where does the time go? I've been reflecting on 2008 and trying not to "look" too far into 2009- a general problem I have. I like guarantees, I want the promise that this year holds only wonderful things. What do you feel as you "look" into this New Year? Hope? Fear? Certainty? Uncertainty? Faith? Or, like me, all of the above and then some?

Proverbs 31:25 " Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future."

Honestly, that seems to sting a little...ok, a lot. I'm not so sure I'm smiling at the future and strength and dignity? I think my holiday pounds are causing me to not fit into that clothing, right now! LOL.

Where am I going to find the strength and the dignity to wear for the smiling at the future part of the New Year? 2008 left me exhausted...unless. Unless. Yes, that is it. It is His Strength. His Dignity or should I say my identity in Him, that gives me dignity, that I need to wear- holiday pounds or not!

Proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."

2009 a New Year...trusting, revering the One who is Redeeming. Trusting the One who is the Strength and who always smiles at the future. Happy New Year. May our eyes be on Him this year, no matter what the year brings.

Days of Mercy, Grace and Peace....

Well, it's December 26th...Merry Christmas. Late. I've been meaning to blog but due to the excessively crazy holiday...yet, striving to remain "Christ"-mas in the season, something had to give besides my last nerve! WHEW....

I've been thinking on some things and I just want to share one thing. I hear the collective, "Ya, right, just one" :) That's OK.

John 3:16,17- "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him."

We are all very familiar with these verses, sometimes I find myself, too familiar. God did not send Jesus to judge the world. I've been struck by what that looked like, 2000-ish years ago. Mary, full-term and in the agonizing labor...desperately alone, naive, terrified. Face it, my sisters, she did not have an epidural or a wonderful labor coach with cool cloths!

Jesus was born. YHWH- God Himself...fully God and fully man, the Word became flesh. He entered this world like any other baby does; with pain, blood, water...relief. He came not to judge. If He had come to judge, the world would have ceased to exist by the sheer presence of His Holiness. He came not to judge but to die...to save.

We live in an unprecedented time, we live in a time of great mercy, grace and peace. We live because He came not to judge. The days are relatively few,as I am becoming more and more aware of. He will come again- this time He will judge. Where is our focus the other 364 days of the year? Christ needs to be our focus of everyday...the mercy, grace and peace He offers needs to be the focus of all our days- until we see Him face to face.

Let the reality of what that looked like...God NOT judging-at Christ's birth, sit upon your heart. Let the reality of His coming not to judge but to offer Salvation, Mercy, Grace and Peace rest upon you soul. Merry Christmas...and Peace on Earth- the real peace that every soul is longing for. Jesus.

The Gas Gauge...

Well, we just paid off our van! WHOO HOO!! This is a big deal for us and very exciting too. Of course, John and I have been joking every time we are together in the van..."She doesn't sound so good." One of us responds, "Shhh, don't say that too loud. The van is listening. She is going to break down as soon as she is paid off." We laugh together often, it's like she (yes, the van is a she) knows she is almost fully ours! Windows are not working properly, one door has had trouble and so on. You get the point. No big deal, but very funny.

The latest thing to go is the gas gauge. It always shows at a full tank...well at least most of the time. That's how I realized that it wasn't working. It was full, full, full and then full and then right at empty. Made it to the gas station and I had .2 of a gallon left of my 24 gallon tank. Close call. Please tell me you can already see my problem...I'm a busy woman who admittedly doesn't pay much attention to car details, SO this gas gauge thingy, it could be a real issue for me! The amount of gas left...after driving say a week, is "unclear" to me so I just keep driving until I realize...Hello! I need to get gas. I do not want to run out! Then I think to myself...it will be all right and I drive a little longer. :) Still haven't run out of gas...YET! I never realized how much I appreciated the gas gauge and the low fuel light!

I do have a point. It's the holidays...a busy,busy time of year. How is your spiritual gas gauge? Are you like me, driving-driving-driving. Assuming you'll have enough "gas" to get you through? Make sure you take some time to "fill up" with the Word, with worship and just with Jesus- in this His Season. I'm guilty of doing the same thing to the Lord that I do to my car. I'm off to "fill up"now , how about you?

A pile of rubble...

I saw a huge pile of rubble tonight...this particular pile was 20 years of memories and 15 years of lots of my hard work. I saw a pile of rubble of what use to be the building of our family owned business, a business that I was a part of for 15 years. It is all I have ever known in my adult-working life.

I turned the corner on my way to my parents house and it was just gone. My folks sold the building 2 years ago and the door of my professional life (in that business) closed 3 years ago...but I had a reminder every time I went home to my parents, I drove past the place and now it is gone. Tonight, I had tears in my eyes and memories flooded my mind. A very significant chapter in my life closed with that business and now the only tangible reminder of that season of my life is gone- it is now, a pile of rubble.

I loved the 15 years of business I was in. I learned a lot about my industry,business, people...I learned a lot about life. I wouldn't change those years but I also wouldn't go back, it was time to close the doors of the business. Those years molded me and my days there prepared me for what I'm doing now. I wouldn't change how things happened but change can be difficult. I spent 15 years building a business...pouring into it and do you know what is left? A literal pile of rubble. It is a very sobering thought.

I'm no longer pouring into a business but it is an important question to ask ourselves...what are we pouring into and what will be left when it is gone? Will it be a pile of rubble? Am I pouring into a house? Am I pouring into a ministry or church program? Am I pouring into my success or my possessions? Or am I pouring into people? Into Kingdom Purposes? All I have left of the Fringe (that was the name of our family business) is the memories and the relationships. Those are all that is left.

What are you spending your life on? What are you pouring into? Spend a little time in Hebrews 12...there is only one thing that will not be left in a pile of rubble...it is the unshakable Kingdom of God. There are so few things that are eternal. People and God's Purposes and His Word.

The conversation...

Here's how the conversation went...

Mandi/Mom, "Ummm....who moved this?"

Maggie, "Tommy did it."

Tommy-from the other room, "I did what?"

Maggie, "None of your business."


Does that strike anyone else as funny? OK, I'm have to admit it. I might sound just like this exchange sometimes. Blame-shifting and avoidance. Her objective? To fly under the radar. I'm positive Maggie moved it.

This small and very funny exchange reminds me of me....how often do I do the same kind of thing to people, situations, and even the Lord. OK...I'm a big girl, I don't do it out loud...I do it in my head and that doesn't mean I'm nuts-o! My objective? Get the spiritual spotlight on to someone else...and then tell myself not to worry about it.

Blame-shift, avoid and try to fly under the Holy Spirit's radar. I guess I can be kind of like a spiritual 6 year old...and in a child of the King, it's really not funny or cute. I'm grateful I'm starting to see it. I'm grateful that the Lord will not allow me to "fly under the radar". In reality, with Him, there is no "under the radar"! He sees it all and He is in the business of transforming His Own. Love you all.....

To tolerate....

Do you ever feel like you just tolerate things? You know, the next task, job, commitment or maybe a person you just tolerate? To tolerate, it's a very draining way to live.

Dictionary.com has one definition for Tolerate:
to put up with something or somebody unpleasant; "I cannot bear his constant criticism"; "The new secretary had to endure a lot of unprofessional remarks"; "he learned to tolerate the heat"; "She stuck out two years in a miserable marriage"

I'll be honest, sometimes it just seems like I tolerate a lot of things and people in my day. Here's the thing, I don't want to just be tolerated. When I wake up in the morning, that is not on the top of any one's list; "I hope the world and my friends and family just put up with me. I hope that I am just tolerated today!" How horrible! Yet, that is what I do with certain people in my life, (Can you tell I'm being convicted out this!?) I simply tolerate them...they drive me crazy or annoy me or whatever and I simply tolerate them and the holiday's are sometimes the worst time of year to do this. Are you hearing me?

Well, as I struggle with this and as we come into this week...I don't want to have the attitude of just "putting up with", I don't want to just tolerate. I want to see with my Master's eyes and do you know how He sees you? And me? Not with the eyes of one Who just "puts up with" us! Let that sink in...do you ever feel like God is just tolerating you? He is not...He has gone to radically great lengths to have a personal intimate relationship with you. He loves you. He's not disgusted and putting up with all the unpleasant things about you...He's in the business of changing you from the inside out, by the power of the Holy Spirit because of the finished work of the Cross of Jesus.

He is wild about you and more than excited about the work that He is doing. Now here is where the rubber meets the road for me, Am I going to look at all those people who I tolerate with my eyes or His? He is not done in them either... and I am called to be His Hands and His Feet. Love you my sisters...